Always
by madd09
Summary: <html><head></head>Its one word six letters how much meaning can it hold.  Slight Spoilers For the LA episode.</html>


_A/N _

_Disclaimer - do not own castle if I did there would be more Alexis-Beckett Moments_

_Hope you all enjoy the story and thanxs to Caffeine-Faerie my awesome Beta _

_Always._

Just one simple word, yet a promise like no other. It should scare me, the fact that I can make a promise like "always" to Castle, and him to me. But we're just friends. It doesn't mean anything serious. Friends. Good friends. But all we are is friends. I'm happy with Josh. He stayed here for _me_, and Castle just re-broke up with his second ex-wife.

So why is that word playing on a continuous loop through my mind? _Always, always, always, always, always_...

"Beckett... Beckett. Kate?"

I snap back to reality when I'm poked gently. I find myself looking into concerned sky blue eyes.

"Yes Castle, what did you want?"

"What's wrong?"

Well I can always try the usual approach to get out of this. "Nothing Castle." I can see he doesn't buy it.

"I would have believed that before I had to spend 10 minutes trying to get your attention. So what's on your mind Kate?"

How can I tell him that he's the problem? I hesitate, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Kate, are you ready to go to dinner?"

Saved by the boyfriend. I frown, dinner's not until 6. I catch a glimpse of the precinct clock, and suddenly understand why Castle sounded so worried. I brush it off as I grab my jacket. I really don't want him to see my face. "Sure Josh lets go. See you tomorrow Castle."

"Until tomorrow, Detective."

I can only wish fervently that Josh isn't feeling that talkative tonight. That lasts until we reach the car.

"How was your day Kate?"

"Good. It was just a paperwork day, so nothing too hard, just a bit boring. How was yours?"

I admit that paperwork days have become less boring since Castle started shadowing me. He always seems to be able to make the days more interesting. I know Ryan and Esposito love it when he comes in on paperwork days.

"… and then I had to perform a..."

I sigh inwardly, I'm struggling to pay attention as Josh recounts his day animatedly. Here I am, supposedly enjoying a nice meal with my boyfriend, and I can't even keep Castle out of my head long enough to listen to Josh.

"Sounds like your day was lot busier than mine."

Josh is always busy, or I'm busy. When it really counts, he's never there. I can't ask him to give up his job. I wouldn't give up mine. It's funny... what I loved most at the beginning of our relationship was that Josh would understand my busy schedule, but now I wish I could count on him to be there when it mattered.

Like I can count on Castle. He's proven time and time again that he will be there for me _always_.

"Kate, are you sure you're okay? You seem really distracted tonight." There's that worry and concern again. But it's not the same coming from Josh.

How do I explain that I'm thinking of breaking up with him? Can I take that leap with Castle? Is it worth it? "I'm fine Josh, just a bit tired. Thanks for dinner... I think I'll catch a cab home."

"Sure Kate I'll call you tomorrow."

Josh is sweet. When he says he will call, he will. He's responsible. I love him. I can make this relationship work. I meant it, and things seemed to be fine between us for a while until _that_ call.

Calls at 2am are never going to be good news. And when I reach for the phone to see the captain's name, I know it's going to be bad. I steel myself as I answer. "Beckett."

"Beckett," the captain sounds tired, "I'm sorry for waking you. I just got the news myself, and didn't want you to find it out in the rumour mill in the morning before I could tell you what happened."

_Please tell me my dad's fine_. "That's okay Sir. What is it?"

He sighs. "Royce has been murdered, Beckett. I'm sorry Kate."

I was in shock. While the betrayal a few months ago hurt me, I really meant what I said on the phone that day. I was in love with him, a long time ago.

"Kate what's wrong?" Josh switches on the light and sits up next to me. I had forgotten he was spending the night. I don't know what to tell him, so I concentrate on the voice on the line.

"You sure Captain?"

"Yes Beckett I'm sure. Are you okay?"

Am I okay? Of course not! Why do people ask that when they already know the answer?

"I'll be fine Captain."

"One more thing Beckett," the captain has some iron in his voice and I don't like it. "You and Castle are not to even allowed so much as look at this case."

The shock is replaced with indignation, I'm immediately awake. "What sir? That's not fair!" I can't believe he won't let me look at the case. He let me work my mother's.

"Life's not fair Beckett, I'm giving you a week off. I don't want to see you at the station. Good night Beckett, I'm sorry."

I stare at the disconnected phone. I can't believe it. First, he won't let me work the case. Now, I'm not even allowed to go to work.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

Josh is still sitting there, looking at me. I need to get away from him. I push myself out of bed and reach blindly for my clothes.

"Nothing Josh I just have to go into work. I'll call you later."

That car ride was the longest trip ever to Castle's apartment. I felt bad for intruding at 2.30, but I needed to talk to someone who would understand. I just hoped he wouldn't be mad at me.

His smile was warm and concerned as he opened the door.

"Come in, Beckett... Kate, what's wrong?"

It was then the dam broke and I started crying. I barely even noticed Castle gently leading me through his loft. It wasn't until he was pulling me into his bed that I went to say something, but he just adjusted the blankets, drew me to him, and softly told me to sleep - that we would talk about it in the morning.

It felt so right waking up in his arms later that morning. It wasn't awkward, it was surprisingly _right_. I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me out of his grasp.

"To early Kate, sleep."

I didn't think I would be able to drift off again, but the next thing I know, I'm waking up in an empty bed. I walk downstairs to find Alexis eating breakfast, and Castle was nowhere to be seen. I'm feeling slightly awkward, but the girl just smiles warmly at me.

"Hey Alexis, where is your dad?"

"Morning Detective Beckett. He had to go out to run some errands. He said he would be back around 9.30." I looked at the clock it was 8.58. "Would you like some breakfast, Detective?"

"Kate. Alexis, you can call me Kate, and I'd love some."

We talked about which colleges she was applying to, and about her and Ashley, it was so easy. I almost forgot about why I was here in the first place. Then Castle walked through the door with half a dozen folders.

"Good morning Detective. Sleep well?"

_Best sleep I've had in a while._ "Yes, thanks Castle. About last night..." He held up a hand to stop me.

"I know. I called the captain this morning to tell him you would be slightly late and he told me about Royce and that we have been banned from the precinct for a week." He gestured to the folders on the table. "That's where I've been, and that's what these are: I copied all the files they had, even the ME's report."

"You didn't have to do that Castle. But thank you."

He shrugged as he pulled up a stool next to me. "I knew you would work this case whether you were at the precinct or not, so I figured I may as well help."

I was shocked that he would do that for me. As we got further into the case, he continued to shock me with his support and his consideration. He paid for me to go to LA, and he stayed by my side the entire time. It was in LA I realized that I could tell him anything, and that he'd _always_ be there for me.

"Thank you for helping me solve this case, Castle."

"Always Kate."

It was with those two words I knew I was head over heels in love with him, and that moment I knew that as soon as I got back to New York, I had to break up with Josh. My relationship with Castle may have began with him as the annoying, immature writer that bribed the mayor to follow me. But now he's my best friend, and the one person I can count above anything.

I meant what I said to him in the park when we worked the dead nanny case. I'm a "one and done" kind of girl when it comes to marriage. And I can definitely see myself marrying him one day.


End file.
